Answers to more questions about our SBS Cumbria support meetings

At the heart of our work are our monthly meetings, led by our volunteers and based in different locations around Cumbria.

Each month, there are face-to-face meetings in Kendal, Barrow, Whitehaven and Carlisle and there is an online meeting on the first Thursday of each month too. The Kendal meeting often welcomes people from north Lancashire and the Carlisle group includes people from across the border into Scotland. That’s why we established the charity as Suicide Bereavement Support for Cumbria and surrounding areas. Please don’t worry if you see it shortened to SBS Cumbria – you’re still very welcome.

Following on from our previous blog about our peer support meetings across Cumbria (and online), there are additional questions that we’d like to answer so that you know a bit more about why we do what we do, who is involved and how we do it.

Do I have to have been bereaved by suicide to come along?

In the main, Yes because that is very much our focus. However, see question and answer below too. Also, it doesn’t matter what relationship you had with the person who died, and we welcome friends and colleagues as well as family members who’ve been bereaved by suicide.

We are not a broader bereavement support or suicide prevention charity even though we try to promote those things on our website and our social media channels. For instance, we know how much some of our members appreciate information from Child Bereavement UK, even though it is not specific to bereavement by suicide.

People come along to our meetings expecting to listen and talk to others who share elements of their experience of bereavement by suicide. If you are looking for other kinds of support with your grief or suicide prevention, there are lots of links in the Resources section of our website.

Does there need to be a coroner’s verdict of suicide for loved ones to join the group?

No. We understand that, for many different reasons, the legal outcomes of the inquest can be different. Also, it may be many, many months before an inquest is held. If you believe your loved one took their own life, we would like to be able to support you. No other opinion is important to us.

Can I bring someone along for support?

If you’d like to bring along someone to support you at one of our meetings, please let us know when you get in touch so that the facilitator can be aware of this when you’re at the meeting.

Are the facilitators all professional grief counsellors?

No, although some of the facilitators have experience of counselling and we have attended conferences and training such as that provided by Suicide Bereavement UK. We are not facilitating as ‘professionals’ but as peers who are suicide bereaved ourselves.  SBS Cumbria was set up by volunteers to provide peer support to others who need it. If you are looking for professional one-to-one counselling, we’ll try to point you in the right directions.

Do I have to pay to come along?

No – as a charity, we raise money to cover our costs so that we can provide our services for free. We apply for grants and occasionally there are people who fundraise for us and that’s how we pay for our venues, for publicity materials and to cover our other costs.

Can I bring my children or teenagers along?

SBS Cumbria focuses support on adults (that is, those over 18 years of age). If you’re keen to support young people through bereavement by suicide then we can let you know of other organisations, resources and support that are available and specifically designed for them. And, of course, parents and grandparents and others attending our meetings often talk about how they’re supporting their own children and young people. Unfortunately, our peer support meetings are limited to over 18s.

Do I have to attend regularly?

It is entirely up to you, how you feel and what you need.

Some people come along for a few months and then find that they don’t really need this sort of support anymore. Some come along once, don’t come back again for ages but then find that it’s exactly what they need a year or so down the line.

We aim to be flexible and to be available when you need us and certainly there should be no pressure on anyone to be there or, if there, to speak up. It’s completely up to you.

“The groups are really flexible. When you first attend, you aren’t signing up to come every month. Some people choose to come once and don’t feel they need to attend regularly, some people come every month. People may choose to miss the group on difficult occasions or anniversaries, or they might choose to come to the group for that added bit of support. Whatever is right for you is right for us, and you’re always welcome.”  Amber Cropley, Kendal Facilitator

As well as the meetings, and with your permission, we also keep in touch with a monthly e-newsletter. This has local news of events and fundraising as well as links to resources that may be useful for you.

Can I invite other people?

We’d be pleased if you could spread the word about our support to those who’ve been bereaved by suicide. We’re keen for people who need us to know that we exist, so your help in spreading the word is great.

However, we don’t publicise details of the meetings as they are only for friends, family and close colleagues of suicide bereaved. Our meetings need to be a safe space to speak about your experience. We understand that many who are bereaved or concerned about someone else’s mental health might want to attend a support group, and we will try and signpost where we can outside of meetings, but our meetings are ‘closed’ – specifically for suicide bereaved.  

If that is you, all we ask is that you get in touch in advance so that we can have a chat, explain what it’s all about and then we’ll also know to expect you at the meeting.

Please don’t share our venue details or log in for the online meeting without that contact. And please keep whatever you hear or learn at the meeting private outside of those four walls. We’re very conscious of the need for confidentiality and are sensitive to the needs of the others who’ll be coming along.

We really hope that these two recent blogs give you more information about our meetings. They’re at the heart of what we do and feedback form those who come along shows us that they’re hugely appreciated. You can put faces to names for some of the facilitators on the About Us page of the website.

If you have any questions at all about what we do, please get in touch, either by email or phone – the contact details are in the header of our website.